When it comes to making a plan, Scott and I are as fickle as they come. We want more children. But we keep asking ourselves, WHEN?
We need to save up money, buy a bigger house and have better incomes.
When my husband and I start to plan, we begin talking ourselves out of the initial idea. There is just too much to do.
Part of me wants to get on with life and start spitting out babies until we call it done. But as I grow older I am not the same ‘deal with the consequences later’ type of girl.
Another factor to our inability to stick with a plan comes from observing our first-born. Lucas is 15-months old and the sweet little baby he used to be is fading fast.
On occasion when he is feeling particularly affectionate, Scott and I are ready to have five more just like him. On other occasions we are at a loss to understand his unruly behavior- he screams, cries and runs around wild most of the time. Not to mention how much we are missing sleep lately.
During the days when he doesn’t sleep, eat or play well we start thinking that maybe one child is enough. I mean we do have an affectionate dog, so it’s kind of like having one good child and one bad already.
I’m certain this behavior is normal for a toddler. Soon he will be talking and telling us why he cries or gets frustrated. But the days when he requires uninterrupted attention are growing more frequent.
The more attention I give him the more lovable he becomes but at the same time he becomes more rotten. It’s like a balancing act and my own sleep schedule has been starved because of his needs. Perhaps more planning should go into giving Lucas attention, but you already know how Scott and I are with planning.
Also a personal factor to growing our family is Lucas’ size. He is growing at an amazing rate. He is half my size; his weight is also gaining momentum as well. Every time I pick him up I think he has gained another five pounds. I just can’t picture myself carrying around two or three children his size.
So it remains to be said that we are considering, but still planning our family. And we don’t know when (and sometimes we don’t know why) our family would grow.