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Today’s mistakes will shape the rest of your children’s lives

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By Susan Sharp

In the last few months a number of child abuse cases have been resolved in criminal court.

The resolution in these cases has been nearly identical. 

The mother has received prison time while the male accused in the case received a lighter sentence.

In all of these cases the man accused wasn’t the father of the abused child. Instead it was a boyfriend, paramour, lover, whatever label you want to put on him- he was somebody the mother just allowed into the life of her child.

Ladies it is time to wake up.

Your children are your responsibility. They depend on you for everything. And that includes keeping them safe.

Maybe you feel you got “stuck” with raising your child by yourself and you think you are still going to “have a life.”

Guess what- you still can have a life. But your free wheeling days of walking around with an anything goes attitude are over. Your life now revolves around your child.

Instead of hitting the bar scene you are afforded the privilege of attending school functions, little league games and the occasional trip to Chucky Cheese. Yes I said privilege because that is what it is.

For those women out there who feel they need a man in their lives to complete it- get over it. Bringing random men into the lives of your children will not end well. Don’t believe me?

Ask Lindsay Norris and Michelle Douglas. While these two women sit in prison for the next few years the men involved in their cases will have served their time and moved on.

None of us will ever know what happens behind the closed door in abuser’s home. But I would say it’s a sure bet the details are some none of us could stomach. Which leads me back to- how can women allow random men into the lives of their children?

Is it a sense of inadequacy that drives these women into any set of open and willing arms? Are the impulsive, indiscriminate hook- ups fueled by an addiction that has spiraled beyond any hope of control?

We don’t know- they probably don’t know.

But what is apparent is that for some reason women are allowing men, of questionable character, near their children.

From the moment children are conceived they are dependent on their mothers for everything. This need doesn’t stop just because you no longer share a body with them.

With every decision women make their first thought should be- how does this affect my children? And I have to ask if women are really thinking about that?

It sounds cliché but being a parent is a full-time job. Being a good parent is a lifelong commitment. Ladies, if you can’t handle that then speak up and let someone know. Ask for help to beat your addiction, raise your self-esteem or generally get your head screwed on straight.

 Don’t expose your children to potential harm, permanent scars of all types and a lifestyle that perpetuates abuse. Make no mistake, your children are watching you. So ask yourself if you would like what they see?